The Optimistic Fox

Digging the dirt on the traps, tricks and tactics used by domestic violence & coercive control perpetrators, so you can outfox the common patterns & cookie-cutter behaviours used by all abusers.

Recognise one. Know them all.

What is Coercive Control?

Coercive Control is a behavioural regime to isolate, entrap, exploit & subjugate in order to utterly dominate.

Coercive Control is unfreedom and correlates significantly with serious harm, suicide, femicide & familicide.

Source: @dashchecklist

What is Domestic Violence?

Domestic Violence can be defined as a pattern of behaviour in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.

Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic and psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.

This includes any behaviour used to frighten, intimidate, terrorise, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure, or wound someone.

Source: UN.org

Getting a niggling feeling about a partner?

Clare’s Law:

The right to know if your partner has an abusive past.

Source: clares-law.com

Also known as the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS), Clare’s Law is a police policy giving people the right to know if their current or ex-partner has any previous history of violence or abuse.

Named after Clare Wood, who was murdered by her abusive ex-boyfriend, George Appleton, in 2009, Clare’s Law exists to help prevent all types of domestic abuse.

Under Clare’s Law, you have the right to:

Make an application to the police requesting information about your current or ex-partner, because you are worried they may have been abusive in the past and believe they may pose a risk to you in future.
Request information from the police about the current or ex-partner of a close friend, neighbour or family member, because you are concerned that they might be at risk of domestic abuse in future.

This is called the ‘right to ask.’

You can make an application to the police on your own behalf, or on the behalf of someone else like a friend, relative or neighbour if you think they’re at risk.

You can make a Clare’s Law application by contacting the police via online form, calling 101, or by visiting your local police station.

If you live in Sussex, you can find further information on their website, including a well put-together Clare’s Law Booklet that you can download.

If a partner makes you feel unsafe for any reason, never ignore it.

Sussex Police Website